In this week’s show we cure Scientology's constipation by burning the evil right out of their dolphins.
This Week’s Beer
- From Andi and Allan!
- Ba Link: http://bit.ly/2qQ8s6K
- BA Score: 96
- ABV: 12.7
- Style: American Double / Imperial Stout
- Aaron: 5
- Jenn: 6
- Shea: 6
This Week’s Show
- Subscribe: http://bit.ly/2rxx05G
- facebook: http://bit.ly/2rxs4hd
Everyone needs a beer now and then (Not quite as much as the Yeti but I don't judge) so if you want to find a new brew start here plus the comedy comes from a wide variety of places I would and do get everyone I know to listen to this podcast
- Last month in the city of Guangzhou, China, a man with the surname Liu was suffering from what must have been a particularly bad case of constipation. Instead of laxatives or even natural dietary remedies, this 49-year-old turned to a “folk remedy” he had heard about: inserting a live eel into his anus.
- One might say that this traditional remedy worked all too well because the frightened creature tore right through the man’s intestines and began swimming around his midsection. This was all unbeknownst to Mr. Liu at the time and on the outside resulted in swelling around his midsection for which he went to the hospital. However, he strangely refrained from telling them about the home remedy he attempted earlier.
- So, of course, it came as quite a shock when doctors found a hole in his duodenum and the half-meter-long fish that caused it. After that initial wave of horror passed, they told Mr. Liu that he would need emergency surgery to remove the creature. Time was of the essence for if the fish had broken through the man’s stomach, his life would have been in serious jeopardy.
- Mr. Liu continued to play coy with hospital staff saying that the eel had gotten in there, “by accident.” Luckily, they could extract the eel (which by that time had died) and save Mr. Liu. Only then, did he finally come clean and tell them about the treatment.
- It was an awful lot of trouble to go through to ease a case of constipation.
- A rehab center in the hills of rural Cannon County Tenn. has been shut down after a 911 call led investigators to a locked facility.
- The facility was called Life Center for a New Tomorrow
- deputies said they found someone who said he was being mistreated, falsely imprisoned and treated through Scientology.
“The workers there, the manager and other staff were Scientologists, there was a great deal of Scientology paraphernalia found throughout the facilities,” said Trevor Lynch, Assistant District Attorney.
- Deputies found two patients there, one of whom had a mental illness, the other was being treated for substance abuse. “This facility was not capable for caring for the individuals it was taking in,” Lynch said.
- Three people were eventually arrested. Dennis Flamond and Hans Lytle were charged with false imprisonment, and another man, Marc Vallieres was charged with facilitation of kidnapping.
This Week’s Stories
“For starters, dolphin sex takes place under trying circumstances. The animals must properly connect despite ocean currents, and salty seawater, which is lethal to cetacean sperm, must be kept out of the uterus. What’s more, dolphins, porpoises and whales have vaginas with extremely unusual twists, folds, and recesses that sperm must traverse to make a baby.”
“Kelly, who has also studied alligator and armadillo penises, came up with the idea of inflating the male organs, which are also twisty. The team did so with a pressurized pump — one more like a beer keg than the kind used to inflate bike tires — and then fit those into the matching vaginas.”
“Because they have lot of suitors, and reproduction is time-consuming.At the height of their fertility, female cetaceans mate as many as 15 times in 15 minutes with two or three males, Orbach said. Pregnancy lasts 11 months, and calves are nursed for two years."It's a very substantial investment of a female's life in her developing fetus and calf as well," she said. "So from a female's perspective, she wants some way to control who's going to be the father."
Next Week's Beer
- From the Ox’s!
- Ba Link: http://bit.ly/2qPgfG1
- BA Score: 80
- ABV: 5.5
- Style: Oatmeal Stout
Faith In Humanity Restored
"These glasses brought me from a faraway distance of 2,200 to 20/20," Andrew told ABC affiliate WATE-TV recently. "This would make things a whole lot easier, from reading to just playing games in class, on the computers.
"We knew as a community we could do it because we have a small community but we have big hearts and we love our community members," Powell said. "Andrew is one of the most special, little guys I've ever worked with. ... It's just a dream come true for everyone here in our community."
Bonus Cat Video
- It's Pronounced "GIF" - http://bit.ly/2rxSuzh
- history of the entire world, i guess - http://bit.ly/2rxrMqs
- Dafne Keen's Audition Tape with Hugh Jackman - http://bit.ly/2rxkTW9
- How Much Would A Star Destroyer Cost? - http://bit.ly/2rxzXTK
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P.S. For those wondering who Gus is, you should check out recent episodes of atheism101podcast.com
Also, sorry for the late posting. It was scheduled as usual and... just... didn't... post. Weird.